conceptual oyster

the world is my oyster…living in random oyster beds, oceans and marshes worldwide, currently:, New Zealand

A.I.B.

The Adventures of Allied International Babes:

*names may have been changed to protect the innocent
*facts may have been changed because it makes the story less boring

Part I: I’ll keep it brief

Much like the Power Puff Girls, Charlie’s Angels, and the girls from ‘The Facts of Life’…there is a society of young, intelligent, and irresistible women in the world. Roswell has the UFOs, Salt Lake City has the polygamists, and believe it or not…Savannah has the elite group of Allied International Babes.

One does not aspire, study, or plan to become an A.I.B…the State Department of Motor Vehicles handles this matter. You will know you’ve been appointed to membership of this group upon registering your personal vehicle and receiving the appropriate plates. At this point, you may still not be aware of your new societal status.

A seemingly innocent friend, we will call E, declared one day, after tailing my vehicle, that I too was an A.I.B….explaining the rest would follow.

As a group, we blend inconspicuously to your world. We knit with you, we are in your pilates class, we even work and study with you. We take out role very seriously and must have a plane ticket, passport, and affidavits ready at all times for any situation that may arise.

Part II: even more brief…

This is what they do…they began by socializing you with other A.I.B.s, friends of friends of friends. Then you realize your social circle are merely clones of one another representing the world…you know who you are out there.

Next you are having two hour long conversations at coffee shops that you used to order “to go please…” Next, you are preparing the lasagna you have been promised all this time…then the trans continental flights, the language lessons…Finally, you too are putting your furniture, plates, the basics into storage and reducing our entire daily routine and shoe collection to two checked bags and a carry-on. You are officially a full-fledged A.I.B. and you have been called to duty. This is your job and you perform proudly it gladly with enthusiasm. You are the few, the irresistible…the Allied International Babes.

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